august 26, 2002
7:52 pm

Today Fez went to the bridge, with my help.  Why DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO HELP!!!!  I am so sad right now. He was my first rat, and he was the only one who ever gave me kisses on the lips! That means he loved me the most. I asked him to tell Francis and Neo that I missed and loved them, I hope he remembers.  I will always remember him

So I did nothing that I wanted to during my 2 days off. I went to a BORING wedding, I took care of a sick friend, I school shopped with my nephew Jacob for shoes, underwear, socks, clothes, etc.  he is starting high school and I don't want any " teasing" going on if it can be helped.

I want to be invisible do you?
 The formula is here. 

Invisibility:

Hold up left index finger with nail facing you.
Grab left index finger with right hand
Pinch the index nail with right hand thumb nail.
(to locate pulse)
Breathe in for 4 heart beats
Breathe OUT for 2 heart beats
Repeat breathing cycle 3 times
Poof you are invisible..

CAN YOU SEE ME NOW?

august 23, 2002
3:28

My first contribution to the "Friday Five is here!"


august 21, 2002
1:48 pm

I got drunk last night.  I didn't even realize how drunk I was until Andy told me that I did not wake up In the middle of the night when some how Kodiak (akita) got a hold of a piece of chicken, out of the refrigerator,  which I apparently left open (??) and attacked Sprocket (terrier), when he tried to take it. I slept through the whole thing, including Andy screaming at the dogs, and throwing Kodiak outside. I had better cut back on my indulgence in alcoholic beverages. OOPS.

 I am taking tomorrow and Monday off, I have Friday off, which gives me 5 days off in a row!!!  I am going to spend some time with Natalie tomorrow, and take Jacob to register for school on Monday.  I need to make a list of things that I would like  to do so I just don't waste the days and do nothing.

I want to work on my scrapbook, not the usual type. 
Take walks every day.
Clean out my closet.
Catch up on e-mail and snail mail.
Send birthday cards to people I forgot.

I will probably think of more stuff later....

august 19, 2002
1:08pm

I spent the better part of the weekend at the Malibu Kennel Club dog show in Oxnard, CA.  One of my best friends breeds and shows Newfoundlands, and she was there with some of the other Newfoundland people from No. Calif. They all caravan in their RV's.  I drove in and spent the night with her. i guess the reason I am noting this is because the more time I spend with these breeders, the more turned off I get about the whole thing.  I would rather spend my weekend promoting dog rescue, spay & neuter etc.  I  almost lost it Saturday night when we were sitting around having dinner and drinks and the "Newf" people began to talk about "Pouch Cove" kennel, that apparently "culls" puppies if they are not to their standard.  I almost screamed at my friend, she has had 2 breedings with a "Pouch Cove" stud.  I was appalled.  She has wanted me to have one of her puppies for years.  I have decided. RESCUE ONLY at my house!!! 

 I suppose I am also mad at myself for not saying something to her and just biting my tongue. Eventually I will need to or it will effect our friendship, I am sure.   

august 15, 2002
10:16am

I am at work again, Natalie is in the hospital for a tune up, and I will be taking her to Uncle John's late this afternoon.  I am leaving tomorrow for the weekend to visit with Ann. She is at a dog show in Oxnard. So I get to hang out with all the weird dog show people for the weekend. 

My favorite blogger is on hiatus, so I am a little bummed about it.  I hope she comes back soon. 

I have been joining some web rings, I recently put up my 100 things.  Check it out.  

august 14, 2002

"I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center."
 Kurt Vonnegut

august 12, 2002
5:05 pm

My life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hue
An everlasting vision of the ever changing view
A wondrous woven magic in bits of blue and gold
A tapestry to feel and see, impossible to hold

Once amid the soft silver sadness in the sky
There came a man of fortune, a drifter passing by
He wore a torn and tattered cloth, around his leathered hide
And a coat of many colors, yellow-green on either side

He moved with some uncertainty, as if he didn't know
Just what he was there for, or where he ought to go
Once he reached for something golden hanging from a tree
And his hand come down empty

Soon within my tapestry along the rutted road
He sat down on a river rock and turned into a toad
It seemed that he had fallen into someone's wicked spell
And I wept to see him suffer, though I didn't know him well

As I watched in sorrow, there suddenly appeared
A figure gray and ghostly beneath a flowing beard
In times of deepest darkness, I've seen him dressed in black
Now my tapestry's unraveling; he's come to take me back
He's come to take me back
carole king

august 9, 2002
11:26 am

I am at work again n my day off.  The one thing  I loved about this job, city hall being closed on Fridays, and I have been here almost every Friday this summer YUK!

I went to the shrink last night.  I had told her that everything was better with Andy and I , then spent an hour telling her about how he finds fault with almost anything that I am doing. It was depressing, I left there realizing my marriage is going down the tubes. 

 But I just want to coast now. l don't want any changes.  I have been though enough change for a lifetime at this point.  No more.  I live this way for a while, when I an ready for change it will happen. 

august 8, 2002
1:25 pm

So my husband, who doesn't love me, is becoming so sensitive that every time I say anything that is negative he requires an apology.  Last night at the dinner table I could tell something was bugging him, so I asked. Boy, was that a mistake.  He wanted to know if I was going to apologize for the night before, or just ignore the "mean" things I said. He is nuts, he claims I am not being "sensitive" enough to his feelings about Fez.  I am having to give him antibiotic shots each evening, and can only do it if he helps by holding Fez so he doesn't move. He hates doing it, and complains and whines.  I wish he would just shut up and hold the rat. He thinks I like sticking him any more! 

Well that put me into a foul mood for the rest of the evening, and yes I apologized. For what I am not sure.  

august 7, 2002
2:11 pm

grey goose, for what ails you. the quick fix for almost any worry.

i want to take some time off work. to stay home, to take walks, to write and play. Not to cook or do laundry or do dishes. 

august 6, 2002

Ok so the site is up and now I can BLOG again! Things have been SUCKO at work, I guess it is just a dog eat dog world out there any more. so much for any type of integrity!

Last week both Francis and Neo died, or I had to put them to sleep. That is the "nice" term for making a decision to kill them. Why must we love these creatures, then decide when they should leave us.